Perry packed a lot of living into that short span of time. He did a lot. He received much. But he gave more back.
We mourn Perry's death for his sake. He loved being here, he loved his people, and if you met him and spent any time with him, he probably loved you. He especially treasured his parents Robin and Chris and younger sister Rosie, and he would love to be here and be close to them, to watch over them, and to make sure they were loved properly.
We will miss Perry most for our own sakes. He was gentle, he was kind, he was respectful, and he was understanding and sensitive to our needs before his own. He watched out for and worried about his people, and he had a lot of people. Best of all, he loved people better than most people can, or do. He made you feel especially important, or funny, or interesting, because he seemed so pleased to be with you. Unconditional appreciation and love like that is scarce, and Perry's death makes it scarcer still.
But we celebrate Perry's life as an inspiration for us to live better for ourselves, and to do better for others. Perry was born early and rushed from Missoula to Seattle to save his life. He survived that and all that went with it, survived leukemia and all that goes with it (three times!), survived the death of his loving and devoted grandfather Pops (Tom Nielson), survived a stem cell transplant and all that goes with it, and survived a brain tumor and two brain operations and all that goes with that. Through all of this he remained a loving son, a caring brother, a good friend, an active boy, and a positive presence in the life of anyone who knew him and for many who merely knew about him.
And then he found out that he was not going to survive the return of his brain tumor. His immediate response was to ask his mom and dad, Robin and Chris, to adopt another kid after he died.
“So Rosie will not be lonely,” Perry said.
And as our hearts break at the loss of our beautiful Perry, we need to remember the life he loved and was so good at is the life we live right here, right now. We need to let our sadness flow, but we also need to be joyful. Perry was.
Remembering Perry will remind us of our great loss, but we must not forget our gain. Perry made the world a better place; it is a better place still for having had him. We need to remember Perry so we can look through his eyes and see all the love and pleasure and play and people available to us, here, now, and rejoice.
Perry woke up, sleepy, near the end of his life. Robin, his mom, was in her usual spot, lying next to him. Perry asked, “What are you doing?”
“Looking at you,” Robin replied.
“You're dreaming me,” Perry said, smiled sweetly, and fell back asleep.
And what a dream it was.
Perry is survived by his dad Chris, his mom Robin, his sister Rosie, and a great bunch of people, related and not, who make up his extended family. In Montana, related extended family includes Grannie Dori Nielson; Tim and Marion Warner Nielson and cousins Tollie, Tom and Thayer; and John and Rochelle Nielson.
In lieu of flowers, the family suggests contributions to the Perry Cerquone Memorial Fund, University Congregational Church, 405 University Ave., Missoula, MT 59801.
A memorial service will be held at 5 p.m. Friday, Jan. 20, at the University Congregational Church. A potluck reception will follow.
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